Why I Stopped Deleting My Story
I Have a Confession to Make.
I actually started this website, Fueled From Within, all the way back in 2016. For nearly a decade, I kept hitting the delete button on my own posts. Why? Because I didn’t think they were good enough, and honestly, I couldn’t see how all the random, chaotic pieces of my life actually fit together.
The Split Identity
On one hand, I was a hyper-competitive D1 collegiate track athlete turned marathoner and self-proclaimed rec league queen. On the other hand, I was obsessed with journaling, yoga, and mindfulness.
I thought I had to pick a lane. Because I couldn't find a way to merge the "one-more-rep" fitness coach with the person who just wanted to slow down and breathe, I just kept wiping the slate clean.
Then, the universe forced me to stop. Well, technically, the universe tried to force me to stop a year earlier when it put me in a boot due to an ankle sprain. I completely ignored that warning sign. I healed up and went right back to non-stop movement.
So, the universe had to escalate things.
The Day the Movement Stopped
By the summer of 2025, I was peak "rec league queen." I was teaching 15 Orangetheory classes a week, playing volleyball and softball, and constantly on the move.
Enter: a casual game of kickball.
I wasn’t even on the actual team. I was just subbing. I showed up and my ACL decided to permanently exit the chat.
Following reconstruction surgery, my active world vanished overnight. I went from moving non-stop to being entirely immobile.
When your entire identity is tied to being the strongest, fastest person in the room, losing your physical ability is terrifying. Suddenly, I was hit with the ultimate existential crisis: Who am I when I can't move?
Turns out, I couldn't sprint away from my thoughts anymore. I had to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling, and actually face my mind.
Finding the Middle Ground
While my recovery is still a daily process, I can now see how the pieces of my journey fit together. You don’t have to pick just one lane—and neither do I.
We don’t need to plan ten steps ahead or run away from our thoughts. True strength is simply having the courage to show up right here, exactly as we are, in the present moment.
Welcome back to Fueled From Within.
